How School boys used to write love letters to girls in the 70s and 80s

C/O Mr John Mumba

 

Principal of Puta Elementary School

 

MAILBOX…

 

Puta / Nchellenge

 

May 12, 1985

 

Dear big baby angel,

 

I hope you are doing well, if so doxology. Time and skill plus double capacity forced my pen to automatically dance on that blessed paper. I hope you swim in the nice pool Mr. Health there. Here too, I ride parambling in the cool breeze of health.

Honey, the reason for this miracle is that I love you spontaneously, honey, as long as I stand horizontally, parallel to the wall and perpendicular to the floor. Thinking only of you, because you are a fantastic and wonderful girl, gathered so fantastically, I ask you to decipher this hymn of my love as it radiates from the deepest pendulum of my chest cavity.

Honey please stop arguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than snakes love mice.

 

For me, I started every day dreaming about you. Every time I see you, my metabolism suddenly stops and my peristalsis slows down, my medulla oblongata stops functioning.

 

Crazy, crazy, crazy, you could say, but it’s true. If you knew what was going on in my brain, you would submit.

 

So I want to see you soon through vis for better enlightenment through tete a tete. Not exaggeration and imitation, simple openness.

 

Only you and I are the protagonists in this delicate matter. As I ponder and contemplate the last episode, I worship and research the Almighty so that this affair is imitated.

By the way, I am in awe, beaming, excited and in a state of ongoing euphoria at the content of your message, which is uplifting and sublime. This left my biochemistry in heaven to compensate.

 

Emotionally speaking, chemically I love you… I never want to see bloom and doom hanging over your living angelic portrait. Let my name be engraved in your heart with indelible ink. If someone tries to ask you to be friends, let them know you are ready and be warned.

I thought I should write here because I haven’t finished studying electrolytic polymerization yet. But before I disappear, I must rekindle your memory with a summarizing lyric that proclaims your cartarrh is my oil, your pee is my mimbo. I’m the greatest lover in the world.

See you again. Sleep well and don’t let bed bugs bite you because you are too cute for them.

Goodbye for now.

 

You fell in love.

 

Mulenga Patrick

 

class captain

 

Form 3A

 

Nchellenge High School

 

Kiss for kiss, love for love.